Yes.

Yes you can. Left the funky tavern where we had dinner, which is located about 4 kms north of our hotel at our new digs in Punakaiki, and somehow overshot the mark by no less than 20 kms. I swear to God, NZ must have some law against street lights or lit signs indicating where in the sweet hell your hotel is. Thank God I’d reset the odomoter counter for something else AND paid attention to the mileage when we arrived at the restaurant otherwise we’d be 65 kms south in Greymouth by now.

Sadly, did not see and/or run over an possums which is on my bucket list for this trip.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Of particular importance to New Zealanders are possums. They (the possums) are not indigenous. They were introduced by Europeans from Australia, where possums are native. The Europeans thought they’d start a fur industry with them but the bottom fell out of that idea pretty quick.  Predictably some possums escaped, bred like mad, and now NZ has one helluva possum problem.

This, at right, is what a possum looks like although most possums you see are flatter and lying in heaps by the road having been hit by a car. Actually, you can’t drive far without counting half a dozen road-pizza possums and believe me when I say no one sheds a tear.

One of the people we met in Te Anau spoke fondly of having a possum for a pet when we was a wee lad. He carried it around in his pocket and when it got bigger it rode around in the hood of this jacket. Then it hit adolescence and, not unlike a human teenager, tore the house all to hell not to mention shredding his mother’s curtains and upholstery. Exit possum and that pretty much sums it up; cute when they’re little, savage maniacs at 18 months and up.

They’re particularly hated because they delight in finding and destroying native kiwi bird eggs. They don’t eat the little kiwis, they just bust open the shells to be assholes.

NZ is a very young place, it was the last landmass formed on Earth. Its native fauna was mainly birds and lizards. We’re talking utterly harmless beasties here unless you count an extinct species of 14 foot eagle with teeth like a crocodile, a six foot penguin and a giant 7 foot version of the football sized kiwi we know and love today. No, I’m not making any of that up. There really was a 6 foot penguin and apparently ‘they’, being scientists I suppose, have the bones to prove it.

Anyway, possums are right nasty shits. Not only do they kill kiwi, they can kill whole forests. There are about 30 million possums in NZ. According to one website, they’ll eat 21,000 pounds of foliage per night. Making things worse, the NZ possum has….mutated. They’re nastier than their Austalia ancestors. They have no predators. They’re hard to kill and sneaky as hell. Possums aren’t the only threat either. Stoats and ferrets were introduced to deal with the rabbit problem and now, sigh, there’s a stoat and ferret problem along with a rabbit problem.

The little bugger at right, either a stoat or a ferret (I can’t tell which) is pictured with a kiwi egg. Just FYI, kiwis lay the overall third largest egg of all big species and definately take first place for largest egg in proportion to body size.

Below is a postcard featuing really bad Photoshop work. It might be the worst composite job in history but at least it gives you lots of different views of several kinds of kiwis.

Kiwis also kind of suck as parents and that makes them vulnerable to not only possums, stoats and ferrets but even to common house cats. 

Since kiwis envolved without any real predators to speak of they have wings that are vestigal at best. Picture a football, cover it with mouse-brown down, tilt it to one side, add a plum on top, stick a straw in the end of the plum, then add the biggest, scaliest chicken feet you can imagine and that’s a kiwi. Sure, it can run as fast as a person but it’s got crap eyesight – it’s hilarious to watch the penned kiwis bump into eachother and scoot away from being surprised — and a really crap child-rearing ethic. After the female drops her egg, the male sits on it for 11 weeks, or longer if she comes back and lays another one. After hatching dad buggers off (he’s probably hungry, having sat on that nest for nearly three months with little to eat – males can lose up to 30 per cent of their body weight while sitting on the nest). The chick survives on a reserve sack of yolk and stays in the birth nest for up to 10 days, then it leaves the nest and goes looking for food with dad.

You can see why they’re all but helpless and why NZ sells lots of t-shirts that say “Possum – New Zealand for speedbump!”.

There is some use for the possum though; it blends nicely with merino and the resulting fibre makes a lovely fabric. All over NZ you can buy possum/merino goods and possum trimmed everthing, from hats to gloves to actual full possum pelts. According to the guy who kept a possum as a pet, the best way to get fur off a possum is to pluck it as soon after death as possible. Sure, you could shave or scrap the pelt but fur is lighter than skin by far and trappers prefer to pluck and tote fur only and leave the hides behind.

I have not yet run over a possum and I don’t suppose I’d want to, not on purpose, but I sure feel better knowing that if I do hit one, it won’t be missed.

Tags: New Zealand trip

We’ve met some terrific people here, and I just need a moment you tell you about them. Here, at right, is Donna and Jim. Jim came up to talk to mum and I while we were enjoying a $5 pint at a nearby restaurant. Jim was impressed with my western hat and introduced himself as being a traveller from Red Lodge Montana. A fire fighter, he’d met lots of Canadians over the years and enjoyed their affable good nature. Jim was pretty affable himself and he was an entertaining conversationalist.

The pic above was taken by mum after running into Jim and his wife and travel companion, Donna, while walking out to the glacier.

John (left) and Tony, have the best jobs in all NZ; working outdoors in paradise.

This pic is of John and Tony. Both are ex-Brits. The first time we ran across them we were just stepping out onto the field of rocks that leads to the glacier. They were raking and tidying up the base of the walking path and called a cheerful hello to mum and I as we passed. Mistaking their accents, I asked what part of Australia they were from. Oops. After many apologies, I told them how much I admired their landscaping efforts. The path truly is a thing of beauty and is nicer than many Canadian residential street. We ran into them again digging drainage trenches on either side of the path. John is a real gold-mine of local knowledge. He told us about how a rock slide in 1997 cause the parking lot and path to be moved some 300 ft south of its original position to where it is today. John also told me that some of the kiwis we saw at the Willowbank nature reserve in Christchurch were hatched from eggs gathered in an around the glacier park forests. (more on predators and how they threaten kiwis in a later post).

I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing it but the people here, and not just the locals, are fabulous and fun. Perhaps there is something in the air or the water but it’s nearly impossible to not have a good time here, or feel good here.

The community of Franz Josef is tiny and there’s no shopping to speak of and only half a dozen restaurants, but our hotel, called 58 on Cron (the address actually), is our best accomodation yet and the owners are, of course, amazing and hospitable in every way.

Here’s our view nestled among the Jurassic ferns. A more perfect place is simply not possible. Maybe the only thing better than this hotel is the Indian restaurant two doors down. Best. Lamb. Saag. Ever.

Not palm trees! These, I swear, are ferns.

Here’s another view of the grounds of the hotel. The ferns grown to a height of 15 feet and some are far taller.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Since I didn’t have Internet, in spite of paying for wi-fi services on a hot-spot network that is supposed to work everywhere in NZ but clearly doesn’t, I couldn’t post on Tuesday so I’ve posted everything today. Sorry for any confusion due to all the posts having the same date but describing events on different days; I wrote posts in Word when I wasn’t exhausted from driving just so I wouldn’t forget details and did a big multi-post a few minutes ago.

We’re now in Franz Josef, still on the west coast but much farther north than Wanaka. I have lots more pics to share but I’m tired and need to chill. I’ve averaged around five hours driving each day for the last two days and I’m wiped. The roads, while perfect in every way, do require a level of concentration that driving in the prairies doesn’t require.

G’night.

More NZ WTFs:
Toilets here use an insane amount of water but they also flush with a such ferocity that I’ll bet you to flush a pineapple down one and not cause it to plug.

The air raid sirens heard in Te Anau and again this morning in Wanaka are actually the local volunteer fire department’s ‘call to arms’. When the siren goes off, presumably they all come running. But we’ve also been told the siren sounds for accidents, like car crashes, so I am baffled again.

When you check into a hotel room, almost nothing is plugged in – bedside lamps, microwave, space heater (all rooms have space heaters), stove etc . Also, beside each outlet is a switch that you have to turn on in order for the outlet to have any power.

NZ doesn’t have pennies. If you over pump at the gas station and your fill costs $73.02, they round it down to an even $73.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Tuesday April 21

Left Te Anau bound ultimately for Wanaka but expecting lots of detours and stops along the way. The drive to Queenstown, a popular tourist trap, was uneventful and packed with amazing views of mountains, lakes, plus lots more twisty roads. Right after Queenstown it gets interesting. First, you see a vineyard. Then two. Then six. Eventually you’re hemmed in on both sides by field after field of grapes ripening on the vines under ochre and blood-red leaves.

The Big Picture looked like a likely place to stop for a coffee and we discovered it was both an award winning café and a winery tour all in one. The whole café had a movie theme. All the chairs were director-type cloth chairs with titles like Stuntman, Grip, Producer etc stenciled on the back. The tour itself is a movie, too. Tour-goers get six sample glasses to enjoy then watch a movie that transports them to six wineries in the Central Otago area (where we are apparently). At each ‘stop’, they ‘meet’ the vinter who tells them all about the wine they’re drinking. It’s a ridiculously cool concept. We didn’t take the tour but Sara, our server and host, was happy to explain the concept café.

She also pointed us to another great attraction. In the nearby town of Bannockburn (which isn’t on my map) was a café on a high cliff overlooking the lake and the much of the region. She stressed it was a not-to-be-missed stop, and also to say ‘Hi’ to the chef, Maria, her neighbour.

Got lost on the way (this time it was Sara’s instructions – HA!) and we not disappointed. In fact, the side-trip took us through more vineyard, olive groves and – here’s the crazy part – in an honest-to-God desert! High atop the clay cliffs sits Mt. Difficulty winery, an oasis of green in a vast, beige landscape. How anyone grows grapes in  gravel and still produces such succulent wines is a mystery but the stop was worth $4 each for coffee and a sample sip of a recent vintage.

We also ran into a familiar fellow, the proprietor of the Dunedin Holiday Park. We didn’t recognize Daniel at first so he had quite a bit of fun at our expense upon reintroduction. He was visiting the area, just south of a town called Cromwell, with various members of his family. He introduced us to his wife, 14 month old son, sister, brother-in-law (a Canuck actually, from BC), mum and dad.

It’s worth noting that we also didn’t recognize Daniel at first because of his size. He’s unbelievably tall, 6 ‘ 6 “, and we’d only seen him sitting behind a low desk before. When I said ‘My, sure do grow them big in New Zealand!” he asked his dad to stand up. His dad, a former tour bus driver, towers over him at 6 ‘ 10”. So that was worth a photo.

I cannot believe how fun and outgoing New Zealanders are! They’re always about three seconds away from a good laugh and are overwhelmingly committed to being helpful and accommodating.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Still Monday, evening

Followed Kaye’s directions to the letter but got distracted by a pen of mohair goats. As soon as we got out of the car, the goats perked up and trotted over as though expecting a treat. Sheep never do this; sheep stare vacantly and or move off in a pack to get away from you. Nice.

These goats were utterly charming. Their silly faces beamed and whoever owns them clearly treats them like treasured pets. Then we got in the car and drove the wrong direction for 2 kms, returning back to the goat pen and, after rechecking the address, discovering that this was indeed Kaye and Peter’s place. Duh.

Kaye was still in town when we arrived but Peter obliged us with a tour of the house and the farm. The house is actually a converted barn. They redesigned it into an open plan with a loft (master bedroom, balcony, massive closet) and a main floor featuring extra bedrooms, a cozy living room, gorgeous big kitchen and a bathroom big enough to swing a sheep in.

The house sits on 50 acres, what remains of more than 2000 acres once owned by Kaye’s family. Kaye’s mum, Arlene, lives on the property too and has never gotten over selling all but the home parcel of the land. Kaye and Peter love their farm and it shows. First, the animals are unbelievably approachable. At the sound of Kaye’s car approaching they trot up to the fence for pet and a kind word. The animals range from alpacas, mohair goats, several kinds of sheep and two dynamic Jack Russell terriers.

Peter took us out into the paddocks and introduced us to the alpacas. Not shy at all, they were curious about visitors and almost got near enough to pet. The goats were gagging for a scratch and Peter showed me just were they enjoy a good rubbing (right between and just behind the horns – they love it!). The sheep were less social but deigned to be viewed and touched, albeit briefly.

Peter also showed me lots about fibre processing, including the shed and pen where he does the shearing and the bales of mohair he’ll be sending off to the pool. Peter was a farm manager in another life and has been in farming his entire life so he’s adept at caring for and harvesting the fibre from their exotic (at least to me) beasts.

The Gottland’s are something extra special. The black faced and legged sheep actually grows a silver coat that looks for all the world like a handful of liquid mercury. At its darkest it’s pewter and at the lighter it is shimmering, multi-tone silver. No matter the cost, I will be ordering a pound of it from Kaye when I get home. Sadly, I had to say no to her offer to take a bit with me since it still has vegetable matter and hasn’t been washed and, as such, customs might seize it in its raw state.

Kaye and Peter are really special people and we'll never forget their hospitality.

Peter and Kaye treated us to two hours of terrific conversation, coffee and cake in their homey kitchen and it was very, very hard to leave. Of all the things I’ll miss about New Zealand, it’ll be my new friends Kaye and Peter. To me they ARE New Zealand and they’ve given me the best experience I could hope to have in this country.

On a sidenote, LOTR fans will find it interesting to know that the Mines of Moria, the river scenes and the final battle scene (where the battle-maiden chick decapitates that scary dragon thing) were all filmed in the Te Anau area. Peter shared that info plus loads of info on the geography and forestry of Milford Sound with us during our visit.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Monday April 18 – afternoon

After Milford Sound, the only thing that I wanted to check out was a cool looking yarn shop in Te Anau. What a find! For the first time on this trip I was granted my most-cherished hope of meeting a real knitting/yarn expert with a passion for the craft.

Kaye Bloxhom opened Silken Spindles in January. She and her husband, Peter, live just 13 kms east of town on a small farm where they keep alpaca, mohair goats and Gottland Pelt sheep. The store is a dream of Kaye’s and from her outgoing personality, her warmth and her enthusiasm she’s sure to enjoy a long and successful enterprise.

Kaye painstakingly selected an amazing range of range, including some new ribbon yarn that is knit just on one edge of the ribbon to create this amazing scalloped look. The store boasts a pair of wheels and a large loom, disciplines which Kaye says are on her ‘bucket list’ to learn. She given loads of support to local knitters by taking their wares for the sale in the shop and is planning a range of knitting, spinning and fibre related classes for the months to come.

 Sadly, she does not yet have a website but says that one is coming soon.

In a not-unfamiliar display of kiwi hospitality, Kaye invited mum and I to her farm. We are due to go there at 6 p.m., provided I don’t get lost again.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Left Te Anau for Milford Sound about 9 this morning, hoping to beat the tour busses that I know will be frustrated from driving behind a slow-poke like me. The drive, which is generally just straigh north from Te Anau, was incredible. Every few dozen kilometers or so and we were in completely different geography and forest.

Moutains reflected in the Mirror Lakes

First sight-seeing stop along the way were the Mirror Lakes. As you can see, they really have usual reflective qualities.

Milford Sound is located in a massive national park which is also a World Heritage Site. The terrain in the park in incredibly varied. First, it’s open golden plain with mountains on either side. Then you drive through mixed forest that forms a beautiful canopy over the road. Then you come to deep, tall forests, the kind that make you wonder if Ents live there; seriously, it WAS Fangorn Forest from LOTR (or damn close to it). On the other side of that just as you get to Milford Sound the forest changes again to uber-lush, dripping, moss coated trees and ferns as tall as a tall man and easily 8 feet across. In a word, incredible.

This cheeky fellow wasn't the least bit shy

The drive also boasts an interesting attraction and nature encounter all in one. The route takes drivers under a mountain through a tunnel at least a kilometer long. Since the tunnel is dark and narrow, north/south traffic alternates every 15 minutes. The fact that this causes a bit of a queue at the tunnel entrance is not lost of one of the area’s most intelligent residents, the kea parrot.

The only alpine parrot in the world, the kea is both fearless and inquisitive. They are ruthless beggars who know that a line-up of cars is a golden chance to be fawned over, photographed, and fed. They also, according to guidebooks and local lore, enjoy ripping the wipers off of cars and tearing into an unattended backpacks or bags left in the open.

At Milford Sound we saw plenty of signs warning the public NOT to feed the kea. Oops.

Moist and mystical forests near the Sound

The forests up and around the Sound are, I learned later, almost entirely hydroponic; the trees the grow on the mountain root in a thin layer of mulch over nothing but rock. Tree slides, where a whole swatch of the forest can become unglued from the rock and fall into the forest below, are not uncommon particularly if a drought is followed by a real downpour. The air at and near the sound is positively wet and so, if you touch them, are each and every tree trunk. The light penetrates this in thin, misty beams and makes the entire area look like the Wood Elves forest in LOTR, Loth Lorien. It’s enchanting beyond belief.

Rapids near Milford Sound

The drive took us 6 hours in all but the total distance was only 242 kms. There were so many sights to see we stopped every few kms or so to be awed anew by the surroundings, like these rapids (at right).

Milford Sound is wondefully uncommercialized. Apart from a cafe/restaurant and an office to book cruise tours, there’s virtually nothing up there but the view. Which is ridiculous of course. The fiords are waters surrounded by sheer cliffs, many of which have waterfalls streaming down them just adding to the spectacle of it all.

As views go, it’s a world beater. It’s hard to imagine anything topping the drive, the four or so kinds of forest along the way, the rapids, the Mirror Lakes – really, it was the ultimate sight-seeing day trip and no visit to NZ would be complete without it. Thank goodness we stayed an extra day. Te Anau has been our best stop yet, bar none.

Tags: New Zealand trip

Mum says she had her own sighting of creepy hotel parking lot bathrobe woman this morning and that said creepy person actually flipped her the bird.

As in the finger. Maybe it’s just kiwi for “Good morning! Such a lovely clear day, yeah? Have a nice one!”. Or maybe it was just the finger.

My my! Air raids, staff that range from ‘meh’ to downright cheeky and now this. What. A. Weird. Place. lol. I wonder if she’s one of the people displaced by the closing of the mental hospital near Dunedin, the place that’s now a cheese factory.

Tags: New Zealand trip